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SPASIFIK intern and Unitec student ZORA FEILO reveals her battles supporting her son through schooling and asks for more ways to accommodate those like him within the system .
When I was young and growing up, I had no problems in the school system. I never understood the pain of failure through not passing exams. I prided myself on excelling, where school was a cool place for learning, hanging out with friends and joining clubs.
My experience with schools changed when I had children. The problems started with my son. When he was in primary school, he found it hard to settle and was getting into trouble. I ended up with him at the principal’s office more than a few times.
When he went to Intermediate he blended into the background like wallpaper - a little bit lost, but still hanging in there. When he attended high school, not only did they misunderstand him, but were only too glad to try and kick him out in Year 10. I put a stop to that and called on Youth Law to help him - he had a right to an education just like everyone else, didn’t he? And what else does a mother do, but still support her child? After that, they left him alone.
He is a good son, somewhat cheeky, but not a bad boy, and certainly not comparable to the more troublesome youth today. In Year 11 he told me he had ‘Unleashed his dragon’. This meant letting go whatever it was that made him an angry boy and potentially an angry young man. This was significant. It meant he could put aside his behavioural issues and start focusing on trying to pass his exams. He was maturing. But it was still a difficult period. The time taken up addressing behavioural problems took up learning time. That resulted in lower grades.
When my son struggled in school, I struggled with him. I could feel his pain for not passing exams. He knew the type of class he was put in. He knew he was labelled. Every time I went to his high school to advocate for him, the doors kept on closing on us.
“Sorry, that course needs this pre-requisite, your son cannot do this.” Or “Maybe if you try in a month and we will assess his results then.”
The only message I could hear was, “Sorry, he is not allowed to have the education he could have because he does not have the qualifications to fit into our system.”
The education system is geared towards learning. That’s how it should be and is excellent if you are a high or middle achiever. But what if you’re not? Where do you go? Who supports your learning when you don’t fit in? What happens when you keep going back, only to be told you’ve failed again because the teachers have no idea how to teach you, or even know what to do with you? In this sense, is the system setting these kids up for failure?
It should be a priority in all schools to look after our young people, especially our young Pacific and Maori. Some are not mature enough and take a bit longer to see the way ahead. It does not mean they do not deserve a chance at getting an education to make something of their lives. This is the job of the education system - to educate our kids. If they cannot make a difference, then what are they doing in school? Schools have a responsibility to the community to teach our children well. Substandard teachers should not be in the classroom if they do not have the skills to lead.
My son has found a way through to a better and brighter future. Not through the regular school system, but through the unwavering belief from his mother that he has every right to achieve something great with his life. Where one door slammed shut, another one opened. He is excited again about learning new skills through the Government’s new Youth Guarantee Scheme. Schools need to adopt a more flexible approach for kids who may learn differently. That is their job. There are simply too many lost youth falling through the cracks. And too many of those are just like my son.
BLOG – Is the education system to inflexible for the likes of Zora’s son? Do you have a similar story to share? What are the solutions? Share your views.
