It’s only words . So say the self - proclaimed defenders of free speech, the anti-PC brigade, the silent majority who lament the fact that New Zealand is not what it was, referring to the past 150 years when those of European descent have become the majority.
But words control and affect our emotions every day of our lives. At a mass level, whether through the media, a rally, a church, words can inspire, motivate, bring new perspectives... or they can anger, instill hatred. I’ve never seen footage of Hitler killing anyone. But his words provoked a nation to do so. At a personal level, through face to face conversations, phone calls, emails, texts, blogs or personal sites, words can uplift you... and they can destroy you.
In Professor Richard Wiseman’s book 59 Seconds is a chapter titled Five to One: When Words Speak Louder than Actions. It describes how negative words have a far stronger impact than positive. Humorist Helen Rowland once noted: “A woman’s flattery may inflate a man’s head a little, but her criticism goes straight to his heart, and contracts it so it can never again hold quite so much love for her.” Psychologist John Gottman has spent more than 30 years exploring relationships. He calculated that, on average, those in relationships needed to make at least five positive comments to their partner to outweigh one negative. Any less contributed to the breakdown of that relationship.
It also noted we are far more likely to react over a negative comment than a positive one. A compliment about the way one looked was often met with little more than a smile and an occasional “thanks”. A negative, or even perceived negative one, often provoked a backlash. No one knows this more than the media. An obvious indication is sports talkback. A good All Blacks victory generates fairly muted, predictable response as fans generally get on with their daily lives with a feeling of contentment. But losing provokes a deluge of calls for the sacking of the coach, the administration, to criticism of team selection and lack of passion in singing the national anthem.
As TVNZ Breakfast host, Paul Henry thrived on it. But his comments regarding Anand Satyanand, the New Zealand Governor General of Fijian-Indian descent (as well as European), who was profiled in our July/August 2006 Issue 15, was a step too far. His implication that Satyanand was not a real New Zealander, and the backlash it caused, was proof that racism and ridicule has little to do with freedom of speech, particularly working for the state broadcaster. He rode a fine line, only this time he fell and will probably need a different bike to ride other than TVNZ’s.
It should remind us all that words have power.
As the Bee Gees sang in their 60s song Words: “It’s only words, and words are all I have, to take your heart away.”
Use them wisely.
Innes Logan
EDITOR
